I just wanted to start by saying a huge thank you to all of you who have said such wonderful things over the last week, it's been really comforting and just the ticket.
Obviously, our little cottage has seemed cavernous, the empty sofa that we can't bring ourselves to sit on, the empty bed that still has her cushion on it, our routines shot, views no longer viewed, dinner times missed, but time will change all this I'm sure. I've already managed to stop leaving the windows open in the car when I go into the shop and going to fill her bowl with water before I go to bed, so I guess that's something.
It seems even the wildlife have got the news, a rabbit has taken to sitting in the middle of the back lawn eying my new plants without a care in the world and the pigeon that Holly gave such a hard time to, has been strutting its stuff right up to the Kitchen doors. One of the dogs in the village that Holly liked, she was very fussy with other canines only having a fondness for black and white collies, left a gift of a huge pile of pooh for me outside the door today.
Well after a week of downs and further downs, I've had a lot of time to ponder and if not to decide anything, well at least to think about being decisive about decisions, 'probably'?.
Holly's passing has topped off a couple of years that have seen me with more problems than an Italian cruise ship company, so a while back I thought that I would have a go at therapy. After waiting ages for the appointment, last Tuesday was the first session and you can only imagine how that went. I don't know who I felt more sorry for, myself or the poor chap.
Anyway, with all this in mind one thing has become blatantly obvious and that is that time is precious, I've written it before but it's worth repeating, we treat time as a constant commodity, counterfeit it, trade it and most of all waste it. My regret as always in these situations is for the time I lost when I was too busy, too self obsessed or too distracted to pay attention to Holly or others who have gone. I wish I could get these moments back, tie them together and enjoy her for a little while longer.
Don't beat yourself up, you've done and you are doing a brilliant job at being you - a job no-one else could manage.
ReplyDeleteYou can still enjoy Holly - that's what memories are for, to sink into once in a while. I'm certain Holly noticed no deficiencies in your care and love and wouldn't have given a lasting hoot even if she had - it's what dogs do.
Did you ever try the old comparison experiment of locking Dom and Holly in separate car boots and then going back an hour later to see which was _instantly_ pleased to see you again?
;-)
Thank you so much and you've just reminded me Dom's still in the boot.
DeleteI’m so very, very sorry to hear your sad news. Our animals are more than ‘just pets’ but true family members and an integral part of our lives. As such when they are gone the space both physically and emotionally is enormous. My very best to you and Dom.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteA friend made a really good observation the other day, which was that the energy in the house has changed
Getting on with life after losing someone you love is the hardest thing we ever have to do and with pets you also have to deal with the people who think you're stupid because "it was only a dog". When we lost our last dog I was heartbroken but stopped telling people about it because I was afraid of receiving "that look" - the one that people use when they think you're pathetic.
ReplyDeleteThe most difficult part was getting used to the quiet and the constant feeling I had forgotten to do something.
I agree with "Owl". We all have our limits and expecting too much of ourselves too soon is not the way to happiness.
Thank you and I know what you mean about that look
DeleteOh, I missed your previous post.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes to you and Dom... Holly was a very lucky dog - I bet she had a whale of a time!
Animals teach us so much.
Celia
xx
Thank you
DeleteDon't beat yourself up over it, and instead look at how you can next carry on. I believe all the things that happen in life happen for a reason, even the bad things that happen, happen because they teach us or show us something that we've been missing. In this case, maybe you'll learn to enjoy the people in your life more, and you'll learn to take time out for yourself and love yourself more too. take care x
ReplyDeleteThank you, that's good advice
DeleteTime is precious, don't waste it on beating yourself up needlessly. Holly was a happy and very well loved dog. xx
ReplyDeleteIt took us a long time to get over losing our Roxy. I had regrets also. I think that its part of the grieving process. I remember thinking I will never get another dog again, I couldn't imagine having to go through the saddest again. It took a year and then we got our Bella and she change the whole household. She breathed fresh air into our lives. Take your time and grieve for Holly, she was part of your family.
ReplyDeleteThank you,
DeleteIt is so hard to get over the loss of a special pet. I still miss the German Shepherd we had when I was little - she passed away from cancer when I was ten. She was a good friend. I am glad that you are trying therapy. I find it invaluable to have someone to talk with who has no emotional investment in my life and can be completely objective.
ReplyDeleteThank you, everyone has said such encouraging things, it has made me realise how supportive the blogging community can be
DeleteI'm so sorry to hear of your loss. We are animal lovers and have loved and lost several pets over the years, and each and every one left its individual mark on our lives.
ReplyDeleteThere's no set prescription for dealing with loss. Sometimes after a loss we couldn't even contemplate another animal for a long time, yet at other times an animal would unexpectedly enter into our lives within weeks and it just felt right.
I hope things get easier for you.
Many thanks
ReplyDeleteIt's such a terrible thing to lose a long-term pet. I suppose it's because they depend on us totally. Then off they go and we're left behind feeling inadequate, a failure, and alone. I send my sincere sympathy. Cro. (She looks very much like our Bok)
ReplyDelete